joy.

wow - it's been awhile. to fill in the gaps here:

after that disappointing 2:03 in the half, i picked up the pieces and slogged my way through a windy ice storm to run 1:57:01. success!

two days later, i fell in ralston creek on a training run and, according to the doctor, "did major trauma" to my ankle. five weeks of nursing the ankle followed, which meant no training, minimal walking, and no third 20 miler.

i went into the michigan trail marathon last sunday hoping for the best and willing to drop out if my ankle needed it. but i hit the course and magic happened - no ankle pain. maybe the pain of the 80º weather and high humidity just canceled out the ankle.

nonetheless, it was a glorious day on a glorious trail. filled with pain and doubt and utterly triumphant in the end. just like life.

so where does this chapter of my running life end? with a seventeenth place finish off of a 5:25.33 and, appropriately, a smile on my face.




















happy trails, c.

two-oh-three.

i ran my second solo half marathon this morning and finished in 2:03. here's the route.



i'm going to admit that i'm disappointed at - again - not breaking 2 hours - though i know i can. i'm trying to fight the urge to rely on "knowing i can do it" though. just because i know i can do something doesn't mean i have done it. i need to stop justifying a lack of effort by rationalizing that i could do something if i really wanted to! ugh. please, i need to get over that... besides, by throwing in the towel like that, i never get the joy of reaching a goal!

and so, in the meantime, here are some thoughts for the record:

• focus on one goal at a time! i tried to cram in too much this morning - a half-hearted attempt at knocking off the sub-2, combined with trying to get in a good, hilly workout and hitting a stretch of icy trail. pick a goal and run with it.

• get better at pacing. when i hit mile one in 8:20, i knew i was in trouble! but couldn't quite get it back. turn it up one gear, not five.

• don't lose heart. trust the training. let myself be great!

• get tough. long runs hurt - get over it.

• run my own race - i was chasing shadows all morning and i knew it.

and finally,

• celebrate the 2:03! a 2:03 hilly-ass half with 338 ft. of ascent and 15 minutes of walking in the middle is pretty damn good. enjoy!
  

next 1/2, i'm going to either hop on a treadmill at 9 minute pace or hop into a half with pacers. i need to get this monkey off my back and re-focus on what's important: enjoying myself and enjoying those trails.

chasing coyotes.

i'm back in iowa city after an aborted trip to waterfall glen. after getting stuck in chicago last night because of the snowstorm, i set my alarm at 5:30am and planned to hit the limestone loop at waterfall glen by 7am. when i got there, however, it was closed! it turns out the dupage forest preserve district opens their parks one hour after sunup and fines people for entering the park illegally. so, i hopped back in the car and started the trek back west to iowa - planning to run the north route at lake macbride (twice) when i got there. thankfully, i stopped at one of the iowa oases and chatted with the very nice "welcome to iowa!" woman who gave me a bunch of iowa state park maps. i checked them out, threw caution to the wind, and decided to head towards palisades-kepler state park, just west of mount vernon. and thank god i did!

palisades-kepler is a bee-you-tee-full park. i wish it were about four times bigger than it is (~800 acres), but i'll take what i can get! the park sits on top of the cedar river, with a bunch of park up on top of some bluffs and a bunch of park down below along the river. there were plenty of geese, ducks, and racoons. there were also - though i didn't see any actual coyotes - plenty of coyote tracks. which brings me to my theme of the day: chasing coyotes.

when you spend as much time as i do driving down the interstate - alone - and running for hours - alone - you tend to have alot of big thoughts. and this is today's: chasing coyotes. as i ran up and down the snowy bluffs at palisades-kepler, attempting to retain my sanity while running and re-running over my own tracks in the snow, i invented a game to keep me going. in my darkest hour, the moment at which i found myself trying to convince myself that 8 miles might be just as good as 18 (yeah, right!) and that i should just pack up and head on home, i noticed how all the coyotes in palisades-kepler state park seemed to follow the park trails. the same trails that i was running, had been run sometime in the last few hours by either one endurance-crazed coyote, or a whole slew of them. everywhere i looked were coyote tracks, and i made it my business to follow these tracks - to chase the coyotes.

now chasing coyotes is a pretty ridiculous pastime. for one thing, they can outrun me. for another, what the hell am I going to do if I actually _do_ catch a coyote? but "f&ck it!" i thought, i'm going to spend my afternoon chasing coyotes, which is exactly what i did. instead of throwing in the towel at 8 miles, i chased those tracks for a good three and half hours - up and down bluffs, through the trails, across roads, over downed trees, along the river, across the cliffs. and i loved it.

and that, of course, is when it occurred to me that chasing coyotes makes a nice metaphor for trail running - for the absurdity of running through the woods for hours at a time with no destination and no specific goal. just a chance to embrace the hunter gatherer in all of us. a chance to focus completely on the (absurd) task at hand. to lose yourself in pain, yes, and also joy. and i know i could use some more of that in the rest of my life - embracing the hunter gatherer, forgetting the bullshit, losing and finding myself, chasing coyotes.

no news is good news!

hmmmm... long time no write.

i seem to be noticing a pattern. when all is well, i'm too happy to bother writing! training is coming along well. i'm still on the wagon. i'm up to 35 miles a week. and, after the saga of trying to find a neutral trail show, i think i did! i just picked up the montrail streak after reading rave reviews here, here, and here. huge thank yous to ann h. for helping me with the search, drew for putting up with my bitching, and to kara at the scheel's in iowa city for actually having the shoes in stock. i've only done a quick 3 miles in them, but so far so good.

things i'm thankful for this week: my darling husband, my wonderful marriage, my sweetie pie kittens, my sweetie pie daughter, my amazing parents, sister, and bro-in law, my wonderful town, my health, my sanity, my energy, and my future. kisses to all.

let go and let (the running) god(s)...

things are still rolling along. i'm up around 30 miles per week and just completed week four of marathon training. my body is definitely feeling the training - i'm having some trouble sleeping and am just plain tired - but i can tell i'm getting stronger and faster. i had a lovely xc ski outing this week in chicago and a hard 60 minute run on the hills in hickory hill park to cap off the week. onward and upward!

it's official - i'm in!

i'm still hurting a bit from the trail race, but i figure i've got to get right back on that trail horse! so i headed over to hickory hill park, for the first time in a long time, to re-embrace its snowy hills. two slow miles, two quicker miles, and one very slow mile later, i emerged with a renewed appreciation of the trails. they're rougher than the roads, but it doesn't get much better than roaming free in an empty park, listening to your own breath, broken every once in awhile by the sweet song of a cardinal or a chickadee. i love those trails!

so what better way to cap off the love fest than with my official entry into the michigan trail marathon on april 26, 2009. i'm in! and i intend to do everything i can to make it to the start. woo hoo!

happy trails,
me.

one hell of a trail run!

on saturday, i headed to rock cut state park in rockford for race #2 in the rock cut trail series. from what i understand, the rockford road runners put on this trail race series every winter, consisting of a december 5k, january 10k, february 15k, and march 20k. i knew it was cold out (20º) and windy and snowy, but i had no idea what was in store!

i arrived at rock cut in time to register for the race ($20 cash in order to pay out the winners!) and head out for a two mile warm-up. i had to head straight to the start after that, where about 150 people (many of them in their 40s and 50s and FIT) started chanting "LARRY! LARRY!" in an effort to summon race director, larry swanson, for the gun. he arrived, offering a few last minute bits of advice, "Don't get hurt! You're going to cross that frozen lake not once - not twice - but THREE times!"

and then we were off!

straight up a hill ankle deep in fresh powder, onto narrow singletrack through the woods, along the edge of pierce lake, up more hills, across the lake, up another hill, through the woods, across the lake again, up more hills, through more powder, across the lake x3, around the lake, and in.

HOLY MOSES! i remember thinking to myself that i was hitting the wall, and then seeing the little yellow plastic pie plate mile marker for mile TWO! this was going to be a LONG 10k. for the first half mile or so, we had to stay single file on the singletrack. i made a few moves into the deeper powder for better position. after that, i got passed by one guy around mile 4 who shouted, "why are we doing this?!?!" when he passed me! other than that, i was pretty well on my own the whole race, with usually not more than two people in view ahead. i passed a few guys on the lake passes, passed a few more on the singletrack, and cut through knee deep powder to pass the only other woman i saw on the course in the final five yards. she seemed pissed but a race is a race! as i passed through the chute, i heard the race official say, "1:18." 1:18!!!!

my legs were literally shaking at the finish. i grabbed a homemade chocolate chip cookie and some water and headed out for a two-mile warm-down. i made it back for the awards ceremony and discovered that i finished 2nd in my age group - though there may only have been two people in my age group! i'm still waiting for the results to be posted, but i think i finished in the top of the second half of finishers.

and i'm really thrilled with that! my 1:18 says something about the difficulty of the race. 12:30 pace really got my heart rate up and there were definite moments where i was thinking that this was harder than any marathon i've run. it took a whole lot of digging deep. it was also great practice for learning to walk (gasp!) up hills and run smart - trail running is a whole new animal and i'm learning as i go.

but for sure, in february, i'll be back!