for reasons i'm not up for going into right now, my heart hurts. as i work through that, with the love of d. and the rest of the clan, it dawns on me that my heart hurts only because i am willing to risk loving and caring about a myriad of wonderful and amazing people around me. and lately, it seems likes their hearts have been hurting a whole lot. part of what has me so distraught is that it seems like those i love have been hurting alot more than their fair share lately. but i'm willing to consider that d. is right, and that the nature of life is to be beautiful and wonderful (as i like to believe) but that it's also to be painful and difficult and full of struggle.
and the thought of painful, difficult, and full of struggle brings me back, of course, to thinking about running. maybe that's why i do it. maybe that's why i willingly subject myself to painful, difficult, and struggling 20 mile runs. maybe those painful, difficult, and struggle-filled runs help to steel me for those painful, difficult, and struggle-filled times in life. and maybe my lack of rough training these past few months has left me particularly vulnerable.
maybe not.
but i have a feeling i'm going to take my training a bit more seriously from here on out.
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"If you can find meaning in the kind of running you must do to stay on my team, then you may find meaning in another absurd past time... life." -Bill Bowerman in Without Limits
2 comments:
So beautifully said, Carrie. My dad has a quote hanging in his office (which emerged out of the Ireland's "troubles") that simple says, "Life is a tragedy, but Joy is a human creation."
I don't think Life IS a tragedy, though it certainly has tragic moments, but I do agree that JOY is a human creation. YOU bring joy to those hurting hearts around you. My goddesses know you have always injected my heart and spirit with a healthy dose of joy!
Hugs.
(sooooo sorry for all of the typos!)
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